Monday, August 3, 2009

Tap Gun

So today at work, two of my coworkers were snickering (and I’m not talking about the bar) about how they should start a tap troop. I found this pretty funny. Flash to 6 months ago when I had a similar tap epiphany with one of the same coworkers:

Me: “I have always wanted to take tap lesson! In fact I recently received a pair of tap shoes as a birthday gift.”

            Coworker :“Wow that’s cool, I would love to take tap dancing with you.”

Me: “My shoes are white and look like Pee Wee Herman’s when he danced to the song  “Tequila” in Pee Wee’s Big Top Adventure…. Remember that part? When he gets “one last request” after knocking the motorcycles over?”

Coworker:  … … …. Silence

Back to reality people, today when the two were joking about tap troops, I casually came into the conversation. “Oh Tap dancing, now there is a cute dance” I would say. Or “hey, you two really ought to follow through on this.” But really, really what I was doing was devising the ultimate tap plan.

The Plan: (Ahem  cough cough) I told my coworkers that I would like to join their troop (you all know that’s a big wink). In fact I told them I would even help name the troop (winkity winkity wink). The name I came up with for our troop (by “ours” I mean their troop I mean “theirs”) “Tapatio,”  (yes, like the hot sauce). The reason I chose this name was, it sounds spicy, like a couple of hot dancers... and that’s when the lawsuit comes because the salsa company sues them. Suckers. Which gives me time to work on the real tap troop, “Tap Gun.”  Tap Gun is a Top Gun tribute on Tap shoes (like Disney on ice). It’s Fred Astaire meets Tom Cruise meets “highway to the danger zone, ” meet Shirley Temple, meets Ice man, meets Ginger Rodgers, meets “Takes my breath away….”  Meets I think you get the idea.

So now I ask, who’s coming with me? We could tap our ways right to some elementary talent show, and perhaps even win the trophy (no promises).

No feelings, salsas, tap shoes, or flat tops (aka high and tight, aka Val Kilmer’s haircut) were hurt in the process of this entry. 


  1. Emily - As a huge Pee-Wee fan I feel the need to nit-pick on some details here. The movie you are referring to is Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Big Top Pee-Wee is actually a completely separate (and far inferior) film. On a side note, I think the funniest tattoo one could get would be a sketch of Francis from the aforementioned 1985 hit film, preferably with the black stuff from the trick gum that Pee-Wee gave him dripping from his mouth, and a caption that reads "I Stole Your Bike".

  2. One more hole in your plan Emily. What if you recommend the name Tapatio, but you do it via email so that they don't actually hear you pronounce the word. And then they use that name, but they pronounce it with more of an Italian accent, like "Tuh-pay-shee-oh". Then maybe the lawsuit wouldn't have any teeth because its a different pronunciation, Tuhpaysheeoh would go on to enjoy wild success leaving you in the office with no coworkers.

  3. I like this blog too!

    And I want tickets for Tap Gun.

  4. if i had a dance hall, i would name it the "Tap Room" for obvious reasons but also after my favorite old bar in tennessee. and the marquee on the side would say "On Tap" to display the performers.