Thursday, May 27, 2010

It's kind of like this...

I Frickin' Love You, Yes You...

Lovers' Carvings- Bibio
Baby It's You - The Beatles
My Heart Stood Still- Chet Baker
Just To See You Smile - Spacemen 3
Come With Me to the Sea- The Tymes

Bring Back the Sunshine Already

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Baugh

This morning on NPR there was some show, with a reporter discussing something with a writer. As you can tell by the details (by "by the details" I mean no details at all) I was not really interested. Although I do find Rush Limbaugh to be a ranting dummy, three things were noted this morning about The Baugh (I will call him the Baugh because 1. it's funny and 2. it's stupid, don't you think?) And so the writer continued to blabber on about his findings on The Baugh:
1. The Baugh is almost completely deaf.
2. The Baugh has a cochlear implant.
3. The Baugh has a Bombastic personality.
Just noting, not impressed or anything. Oh and the last time I checked, Shaggy (singer from the 91's not the cartoon dog) was the only bombastic guy I knew...or was he boom-bastic? Hmm you say bombastic I say boombastic, let's call the whole thing off.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Good Catch...

Last night at a wedding, I caught the bouquet... Which we all know what that means...long arms, tallish, and a good catch!

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's kind of like this...

I like to imagine myself playing each character in this commercial...
Especially the surprised painters doing the double take!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Tea Party

Keep your specs peeled and your ears open...

Buckets of Rain- Bob Dylan
Ten commandments- Prince Buster
Some Kind of Nature- Gorillaz ft Lou Reed
A Sign of Weakness- Dragging an Ox through Water
Please Please Please let me get what I Want- The Smiths

Do your homework: track down the songs, listen to them, report back....GO!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Splinter Calling

Ah the old prank call, so classic yet so classless. It was in sixth grade when my friend Michelle and I randomly discovered the number of Jeremy's pager. Jeremy was the fated patron of a random number we decided to call one day. His message, upbeat, concise, and unprepared for what was to come: This is Jeremy's pager, please a message and I will get back to you. For those of you who are not of the pager era, a pager merely acts as a means to access a person. Although it's through voice mail, or typing your telephone number into the phone, no over the phone person to person interaction takes place (until the pager owner the person paged, responds). The first message we left for Jeremy was me pretending to be the voice of Splinter, you know, the wise rat from the ninja turtles? So anyways, as I'm telling the story of how teenage mutant ninja turtles came to be, Michelle was in the background pretending to be the turtles. I will now tell you about the fated prank that started a revolution (for those of you who do not know the ninja turtles story, pay close attention, this could be very informative). Now I want you to read the following in your best wise rat and surfer turtles voices. Jeremy's pager beeps "beep," and go:

Me:(in wise rat voice) I was walking through the sewer one day when I saw four baby turtles swimming in a canister of ooze. I picked them up, put them in my backpack, the next day they had doubled in size, so had myself.

Michelle: (in surfer turtle dude voice) Splinter, will you get off the phone, the is pizza here. Oh great anchovies, I hate anchovies. Cowabunga dude.

Me: (in wise rat voice) Leonardo, can't you see I'm on the phone?

And cut! Now I know it doesn't seem like much, or even that good, but let me tell you, we continued to call the person-less number for the rest of sixth grade... and seventh. It is a fact that me and Michelle pranked called Jeremy's pager till about tenth grade. I know what you're thinking, who the hell did we think we were? Or maybe even what a bunch of dorks. Well we thought we were funny, and clever, and yes obviously we were pretty dorky if that is what we were doing in our free time. But you know what, even after the ninja turtles, George Bush, Harry Carry.... you name it. Even after all of that, Jeremy never ever changed his number.

Friday, May 14, 2010


Tea Party, Saturday 9pm... Wear your finest tea clothes (as in a "drinking out of dainty cups" party, not ever to be confused with Sarah Palin and the Tea Baggers party).

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

56 Gold Buttons

Re-gifting Center, you've done it again!

Whistle Duet

Today I was in a store and a woman started to whistle next to me. Next thing I know, a different woman started to whistle sort of the same tune, with a few added "hmm da dums" and "la dee das." I didn't recognize the tune. It was strange, yet compelling. I mean seriously, how often do two strangers whistle duet?
And now for your homework: whistle your favorite tune with a friend, report back later. Ready, go!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

please excuse me

I'm sorry to say, I ate the rest of the cereal when I came home from work, It was delicious.

Friday, May 7, 2010

It's kind of like this

Dear Tim Meadows

I recently received a note from a man named Timothy, stating "he is sorry I am disappointed in his career." Not only did I feel like a shit head saying the Ladies Man movies were indeed a career killer, I would like retract that statement and say sorry (insert virtual handshake now) shake. Tim Meadows, I do indeed think you are a fantastic comedian your Russell and Tate attorneys at Law skit, really took the cake (and I'm not even talking about a tiny cake...) Tim Meadows, I say career killer about many movies, and yes I know it's a bad habit, and "what would I know..." A funny habit (admit it) but a bad one. Sorry. Keep up the good work. Next time your in Portland, when I bump into you, I'll say "career killer" and you'll be like "oh Emily..." Or maybe you'll pour a drink on my head. Wha wha wha ("wha wha wha" represents cartoon trumpet noise when something funny and bad happens, like an ice cream cone to the head, or something like that).
Emily P.F Dart-McLean

Workin' for the Weekend

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

She Longed For a Denim Vest

And the guy in the car next to me, he was driving a 1979 Volvo station wagon, yellow. This is the exact car model that my best friend in high school used to drive... sans the duel EAT SHIT AND DIE bumper stickers on both backseat passenger windows. The drivers unkempt, long hair, showed just enough face to justify the bumper stickers. He wore a jean cut off vest, (light not dark denim). His snarl lasted for miles, just like the sound his motor made; loud and unpleasant. At the last moment I had a chance to peek in my review mirror at the older woman (say age 78) shaking her head in dismay behind me. I think she always wanted a jean vest, and longed for not one but two bumper stickers that read EAT SHIT AND DIE.

Monday, May 3, 2010

MR. Tea

I Pity the fool who doesn't take a crumpet. ..because it's Mr. Tea not T (tough crowd).