Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Best Time Travel Ever

First off March has been a time travel... a total time travel. I'm talkin' Back to the Future, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure style (sans the delorean... and the phone booth). It was March first, and next thing I know...boom March 31st. Work has been a mad house (not to be confused with a "fun house..."creepy clowns, slides, and stretch mirrors that make you look you are shorter and wider then you are... you get the idea). So anyways it's been extremely busy this month, which explains the pictures of moss graffiti, and the Buddy Holly Montage (quite frankly, there hasn't been time or things to write about). Then this:

On the way to my car, tonight, I had the ultimate March 31st highlight. I heard a jovial chorus as I walked up the street. I couldn't tell if it was coming from a car or house. As I walked around the corner, the music got louder...Billy Joel, is that you and your choir? Ok so, it was "for the longest time..." remember that song (me either, I swear, me either). So flash to the part of the walk when around the corner I approach a group of singing men (oh and by the way they were the ones singing "for the longest time..." just in case that connection was not made). It was a group of three men, now I'm not going to assume they were homeless (but they did have multiple signs begging for money and they were covered in dirt... and stench). Anyways there they were, walking up Belmont singing a perfect acapella trio version of "For the Longest Time" (not to mention the perfect "BUM BUM BUMs" in the bass, and the "oooh eeeh ooohs" in the high...treble?).

That little stint of Billy Joel, made for such a good time travel, that I didn't mind when a man in a mini van almost cut me off on my drive home. I noticed that he was wearing a neck brace, and when he slammed on his breaks pulling out in front of me, not even one single cuss came out of my mouth, all I could say was "Yipes, don't make that mistake again..."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I also decided this weekend if Alex and I ever own two dogs, two cats...two kids (too soon), my vote for names: Bee Bop and Rock Steady... yes as in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....turtles in a half shell...turtle Power.

Surprise Success

I've never hosted a surprise party before. When I decided to plot a secret 25th birthday party for Alex, I knew I'd have to keep my loud mouth shut. In the past, I have told Alex just about everything (now that the surprise has past, I'm back on the truth train). But seriously folks, I would be like "your birthday present is blah blah blah.." kind of like that, except an actual present not "blah blah blah's." Three weeks ago, I sent out an invite that read "CHIP IN" (there was other details on it, but "chip in" hints that it was indeed a chips, salsa, nacho, booze, extravaganza). Here are some photo highlights (ah thank you Sarah). Note the photo of the surprised looking man, that is indeed Alex, and he is walking into a dark apartment filled with 30 people...(cue the power words, the "booms" and "booyas'' and "shizams"). It was a successful surprise party, not to mention that our cupboards are filled with Mexican candy, and our fridge is filled with beer and salsa (again cue the power words).

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Birthday Boy

Dear Alexander Timm Harris,
I hear it's your birthday? Cool. Happy Birthday.
Love, Emily Pauline Fanny
P.S I frickin' love you...yes you!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

It's official...

Read it and weep folks.. or laugh. I officially made the work website bio page! Oh and note, the sparkling personality...

Emily Dart-McLean
Emily Dart-McLean

Employment Consultant

Emily has had the good fortune to be affiliated with people with disabilities through out her life, and brings a tremendous amount of enthusiasm to her work at Trillium Employment Services. Emily values and is an advocate for people with disabilities, and has a sparkling personality. For the past 3 years, Emily has partnered with the North West Down syndrome Association, to help plan and organize the children’s events at the annual buddy walk. Emily graduated from Portland State University with a BS in English and Women Studies.


Nine point six miles at the shamrock run. It was kind of like this...
What can I say, despite the sound of twenty thousand people breathing like it was their last breath, or the smell of twenty thousand stinky armpits, it wasn't so bad. Not bad at all. Oh and I'm not saying I don't sweat, stink, or breath, I guess being in a mob of a loud, stinky, sweat entity, was better then I thought.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dream Job...

Little Green Dress

The dress, ah the dress that started it all. It's very sweet this dress, capped sleeves, light green silk with painted flowers in different shades of green, shortish, darling. It's banana republic but it looks vintage (a blast from the past if you will). So this sweet green dress, had been laying over the chair in our living room, waiting as I contemplated it's arrival at work. So I'm tallish, and this above the knee number when paired with my yellow belt was above above the knee. Everyday I'd contemplate is Vancouver, WA ready for this? Don't worry folks, today the dress got to make its debut.

You see, last night I curled up for a cat nap on the couch (by that I mean a short nap, not a nap surrounded by cats, milk or mice or anything like that). So anyways, my nap went a bit longer than planned (dog nap?) next thing I know I've been curled up on our couch for 3 hours. For those of you who are not familiar with our couch, it's the shape of a lima bean. Nice to look at, nice to sit on, bad to nap on. This morning I woke up with a bad case of the lima bean couch neck. I didn't realize it until I had my head in the sweet green dress.

Yep, right as I was jarring my right arm through the arm hole (oh yeah I forgot to mention I slept in late, sometimes running late in the morning results in fast dressing action), bad lima bean shaped coach neck kicked in. OUCH! Have you ever slept on your neck weird, and when you wake up you can only turn your head one way? There I was half way into the dress, the left side of my body was in pain every time I moved, I decided there was only one thing to do, carefully put my left arm through the arm hole. My plan had been to try the dress on, not wear it to work.

Today I learned the green dress lesson. Even though I wore boots, and tights, the dress was too short (not to be confused with the rapper) too cool, for Vancouver, WA. At the Arc "stay warm and dry out there... in your (awkward pause) dress." At lunch, the sound of crying babies, and grandmothers covering eyes when I walked into a room. At Walgreens "I (gulp) like your dress." Ok so maybe a stretch on the lunch part, however I have one thing to say to the city of Vancouver, WA:

Dear Vancouver,
I'm sorry you weren't ready for my green dress. It was an unexpected wardrobe decision, but you know what, sometimes you have to go with the flow of things. I just thought I would let you know, depending on the recovery of my neck, be prepared to see me in this dress for another couple days. Could be weeks, who knows. Hope you can learn to embrace it, yellow belt and all.


p.s I never sass you on your work clothes, did you ever think about that?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


On Sunday I saw a gaggle of dachshund puppies. Five puppies to be precise. Yes, they were out for a stroll with their mother at the waterfront park, lined up like ducks. Just when I thought animals couldn't get any cuter then dachshund puppies pretending to be ducks...

This week, I have been doing some job training with a person who is doing work on a farm. The first day on the job, the Farm's pig, Rosie, gave birth to eight piglets. Which would probably explain why she was the size of two pigs (I'm talking state fair quality). Here's where the cute tops the puppies. Today I got to hold a brand new baby piglet (2 days old) wrapped in a blanket. Pig in a blanket, yes please (too soon? Sorry)! For a second the wonderful life the pig and I could have together, flashed in front of my and the pig getting coffee at the neighborhood running the stairs at MT. Tabor.. riding my bike together... sushi... trying on hats at thrift store...going to concerts... you know stuff like that. Anyways my pig pet vision was cut short by the sound of Rosie (the mother) grunting and oinking at me. I don't think she was mad, I think she was just trying to tell me that a 300 lbs pig would not like living in a city apartment. Or maybe she was mad (Don't worry Rosie, I don't like to eat pork). So anyways, I left the farm pig less, but walked away with a pig facts.
1. Did you know piglets stack on stop of each other to sleep (sort of like a dog pile...pig pile)
2. A domesticated pig has approximately 15,000 taste buds, which is more than any other mammal, including humans. Boom!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Dear Vancouver Meter Maid

Dear Vancouver Meter Maid,
Why did you do it? You know I always pay my meter fair, you know better then anyone. Sometimes I even press the "20 minutes" free button for my fellow parked comrades (would it change your mind if I said "carmrades?" Just checking). You see today, I had a long coffeeless day, meter maid. I circled the block twice to find the parking spot right in front of the shop just so I could make it in before they closed. I ran in at 3:57 (3 minutes to spare mind you) and forgot to press the 20 minutes free button (for those of you who don't often venture into Vancouver, WA, they have the old timey meters... remember coins?). So anyways, there I was rushing to get to the coffee, when you silently crept (out of nowhere mind you) and left me a $15 fare (or shall I say unfair). You know I forgot to pay 5 cents this one time, you know my car just showed up for 3 short minutes. I'll I can say to you is if you were a Beatles song you would definitely not be "Lovely Rita (meter maid)" nope not even close. You'd probably be something along the lines of "Helter Skleter..." Yeah I said it. Shot through the heart and your to blame, you give meter maids a bad name.

Emily PF Dart-McLean   

Thursday, March 4, 2010


i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Little Monsters

Tip your head sideways to view this gem:
Little Ruthie's Halloween birthday party, circa 1992. Most of the kids had cute disney princess costumes. I went the creative makeshift route, with the green overalls, tap shoes, and banshee mime face! Classic (by that I mean the opposite of classic).

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

So Professional It Hurts...right down to the blazer

So there you have it folks, me+ cheesy background =blazer. Does it take you back to third grade school pictures/ 90's business woman? Me too. Oh and this my friends, is a sneak peak pre company website bio photo. Now you can sleep soundly at night... or something like that.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Luckity Split

Tonight I got a fantastic fortune, or should I say Phortune (by that I mean it was in my cookie at Pho... tough crowd). You see, Alex and I have this regular thing we like to call "MO PHO" (which is exactly what it sounds like: Monday Night Pho Dinner, naturally). The past few Phos have been Pho-ll (full..tough crowd) of bad tapioca pudding for dessert. Equaling split pea, baby food, glumped (almost thrown into a bowl) which I have a hard time politely stomaching. I pretend to like half of the dish every time, only because were regulars. I know I know, why can't I just say I don't like the dish? But hey, you try being the regular that everyone hates because you don't like a restaurants precious pudding. So anyways tonight, we were back on the cookie train, Hallelujah or I suppose should say come on ride the train (in the tune of that bad 90's song). Blah Blah skip to the part where I tell Alex that I can tell it's going to be a lucky fortune, and it is! The fortune (in my best fortune telling voice ever): The next few days are a lucky time for you. You can take a chance. I imagine that fortune followed by a gong noise, BOOONNNG!