Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Per request of the birthday boy (by "birthday boy" I mean Alex's 30 year old brother...birthday man?) yesterday Alex and I were asked to pick up 3 traveling Japanese business men at their hotel. From there we were supposed to take the men to Shaun's 30th birthday party. For the record, Shaun did not have some strange birthday request "I'll take 3 Japanese Business men please." Shaun happens to be some sort of international man of mystery (by that I mean he is a business man who regularly travels to Japan... international man of mystery compared to my Vancouver, WA stint). For those you who may or may not know, I had the opportunity to take Japanese for 3 years in middle school. That said, my Japanese is comparable to a 2 year old child, or a well trained parrot. Fortunately I managed to remember the 3 years worth of Japanese I learned, and then some. A particular joke about Michael Jackson.
In the car right before we got the 3 business men, Alex turned to me and asked me if I was going to tell the joke "you're telling the joke, right?" His tone rather assuming, as if I tell the joke to every Japanese business man I see. Please Alex (pronounced "puh- leeze"). At this point the men are in the back of are car. After about 3 minutes of the "get to know yous" Alex and I were chauffeuring 3 whispering men, who possibly felt uncomfortable from being smashed into the back seat of a car... and yes they were whispering to each other in Japanese. Alex uncomfortable from the lull of silence/ secrets, turned to me and told me "he thought I should tell my joke." Gladly! I turn to the Japanese business men, give them the schtick from above (2 year old level of Japanese blah blah blah) and I begin:
Michael Jackson san wa nani ee ro ga ski des ka? (Clearly if it were written in Japanese letters it would look a little less baby talk, and more like Japanese letters). That part of the joke translates to "what is michael jackson's favorite color?" The punchline follows:
Aw Oh (of course the later is said like the king of pop himself, as if a high pitch "hee hee," a moonwalk, or crotch grab were to follow ). The answer translates to blue.
Guess what folks, they got it! Even better, they laughed. Thank you very much...I'm here all week.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Me! That's right, me! So yesterday I go to the Re gifting store in Vancouver. You know, the one where I buy all those goody goods for cheapy cheap! There they were, size 8, women's size 8, my size 8... paten leather tap shoes! They were only $2.00, and in tip top (tap top) condition to boot (literally). I carried them around the whole store, long enough to find a shiny purple baseball style bomber jacket... with a hot pink grand piano on the back. The jacket (which fit perfectly) cost merely one quarter (or as some of you might say "25 cents"). So now I'm carrying the shoes, and the jacket looking at all the self help books. Something about the book selection (it might have been the Basket Weaving one) urged me to walk back to the shoe section, and put the paten taps back on the shelf. You can imagine what comes next... that's right I talked myself right out of that piano jacket. My reasoning, "I have a pair of tap shoes" and this excuse "when would I ever wear that jacket?" Pretty stupid if you ask me... and by reading this you are asking me! Pretty stupid I say! I realized I made the wrong decision last night when I was laying in bed dreaming about bedazzled tap dancing in my new grand piano jacket. So today, I go back.... you'll never believe this, but long story short I did the same damn thing! Picked up the shoes and jacket and put them down. Seriously, can you even believe this girl?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tonight Theo is arriving at 1:00 am. That's right, 1:00 in the morning! I can't even wait... but before I get all hip hip hooray on you, please note, tomorrow when I fall asleep in the staff meeting, and some might speculate I'm:
b. on a heavy dose of horse tranquilizers
Just remember I am picking a dear friend up from the airport in the middle of the Damn night!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The man had been collecting postcards longer than I was alive he said. A whole tent full of postcards classified by theme. Cats in a basket, Cats with people, Cats with dogs, cute cats, Horses, Sheep, Aardvarks (basically any animal you could think of) Scary Movies, comedies, Madonna, you name it! So the man, (he looked like a Jimmy or even a Frank) would not stop talking to me!
Tell me where you were born, I'll bet I have a post card from your town.
Salem I say.
Well of course I have plenty of Salems that is so easy. I thought maybe you were from a small town in Ohio. Because I would have a postcard for that town too. Or Mississippi. Or New York.
I quietly kept my search on for the perfect cat sitting on top of Madonna's shoulders, reading a pin up magazine (politely trying to ignore Frank's interjections, and disregarding what had happened to all of his teeth).