Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Dear Squirrels...

I literally marched...stomped up the ramp to my office this morning. Ok squirrels, I get it, there's a dead squirrel under the ramp. I'm sure it's hard to get over, but just remember your precious squirrel friend happen to die under the ramp. It's not a squirrel graveyard, you didn't burry them their (I mean, you didn't right?)! No more visits to the dearly departed, ok? It's hard enough having my coworker ask if anyone smells the dead squirrel, every damn day.You know it (and she certainly knows it) we all smell the dead squirrel. The smell is horrible, and your presence is worse. I mean come on, most small animals run at the sound of a foot step, a car door, a something. Why must you torment me... how you just stand while I stomp up the ramp, like a fool. Cut me some slack squirrels, please. Don't make me scream and shout SCRAM the second I get out of my car.. . I will, and you know it! New office rule: squirrels off the ramp by 7:00am, it's yours all night... don't you have a day job?

Emily P.F Dart-McLean

P.S There's a nice ramp down the street... You know that shitty diner Christine's? It's all yours!


  1. emily you crack me up!! and was it just me or was there a huge pile of squirrel poop sitting on the arm railing today?! not only are they dying under the ramp but now they're soiling the top of it!! plus, they have no fear! i walked towards one yesterday and he took one look at me and just laughed. laughed right in my face. i say it's pay back time!

  2. Agreed! Say, do you still carry that old squirrel trap in your car? Set it up!

  3. maybe you should embrace the squirrels and then you can have a website like this: