Workin' For the Weekend

Happy 100 Bloggy Baby

Today is indeed, 100 posts since the birth of this blog. How bad do you want to push the candles and cigarettes aside and... cut that dear old woman a slice, me too.

Work it

The time has come for the work photo to take place, think elementary school photo with adult wearing a blazer (and I'm not talking about "blazer" as in Clyde Drexler or Brandon Roy). My Boss had a fantastic suggestion for the website, professional top, wild bottoms (no one will see the bottom, but maybe we can do two shots, one full body?). I think of this suggestion like the old saying: Businessman in front, party in the back, that refers to a mullet. The First shot: anyone wearing their finest work attire up top, in front of a neutral tone background, their face resting gracefully on there hands, partial smile, bright eyes... you get the idea!The bonus shot, the second shot features the "party in back if you will"so you have shot one, the work clothes, boring background, blah blah blah...and i don't know, tie dyed sweat pants and Birkenstock and socks. But seriously folks, what do you want to see in my work photo, mermaid tail? Hot dog costume? Mozart Wig?

Go Blazers

Post Hawaii - Part II

This film was created by none other then my main man ( by that I mean, "main squeeze..." not juice, but my sweetie Alex). He did indeed swim with this wild pack of dolphins, his "power animal" he says (wild pack of dolphins not to be confused with wild pack of dogs). Yes, those are whales you hear in the background (all though, if you show this to your friend's, you can tell them I dubbed over the sound...that it's actually me in the background). Enjoy.

Pre Hawaii

Buckle your seat belts, locate your life vest and air mask (life vest?) join me for a time travel back in time to last Tuesday, 1/19/10.

Ah the airport. I guess it feels funny and different when you are waiting at a new gate. I mean, I acknowledge that every time you fly it's new gate... although the gate itself is rather generic, what's new and weird and funny and different ("ands" completely conscious) are the gate's contents. Today, while we nurse our fast food bellies at gate C4 to Maui "C4 to Maui Charlie four to Maui'' the stewardess says over the loud speaker, this gate is breaking free and molding to a different type of generic content.

This gate feels particularly different then the rest because it's Tuesday at ten in the morning. I find it strange that eighty percent of the people are fifty plus years older then us, and ninety percent of the people at gate "Charlie Four" have straw hats. I want to say right now that I'm not ageist nor a straw hat-ist (Hatist? Strawist?), I'm merely observing what people do on a Tuesday morning at gate Charlie Four located at the PDX airport.

The Stewardess makes an announcement that our flight has been randomly chosen to have airport personnel "randomly" search the bags of the random contents of gate C4. The stewardess makes it sound like winning a big fat check (the size of a small child or big dog), she really puts emphasis on "random" and "person" and "check." I imagine it just like Publisher's Clearing House , accept no check , no balloons, and no live camera crew. Since there is no check, no balloons, and no camera crew I try to act as "normal" (whatever that means) as possible to avoid "random" bag search.

I talk loudly to Alex, discussing normal things like "the weather" or "I just can't wait to hike to the top of the Volcano.. ha ha ha" I say with a bit of a forced happy inflection (by a bit a mean a lot). When I feel like no one is looking, I whisper sweet nothings to Alex such as "wanna make bets who gets searched?" Someone glances in our directions and I'm all "dolphins" and "sea turtles," they look away and I'm "even though we're probably targets for the random search, my bet is on that couple...blue hair piercings, consider their bags searched" (oh and by the way, I'm not a pierce-ist or a blue hair-ist, hair-ist? Just putting my bets where they could count).

We made the cut search free... maybe it was our lack of straw hats? Perhaps my over enthusiasm to travel? I guess we'll never know. So while we hover over the clouds, on our way to Maui, Alex is asleep next to me. I sit and watch people come and go down the aisle and think to myself, "it's a good damn thing that red head man brought his straw hat, I'll bet he burns like paper!"

And the trip unfolds from there folks. Stay tuned as I time travel to the tops of volcanoes and to the depth of the ocean.

Hawaii-in- the hell

Hello...if I really wanted to prove my exact location I would start with "Aloha." I won't do that to you, as long as you trust that I am currently sitting in 80 degree weather, ocean, whales, and volcanoes in view. Do you trust me? Thanks!Today is my last day in Hawaii and first chance to spill my guts about it. However I'm not going to open my big yapper (is the correct term "typer" when you are on a keyboard or typing device?) anyways, like I said, I'm not going to open my big typer (by the way "typer" and "yapper" are not intended to sound vulgar). Five days in Hawaii, and there is so much to say. Unfortunately I'm using Alex's parent's lap top...which just so happens to be the world's tiniest lap top. Tiny lap tops are difficult (although cute and dainty) to use. I feel like I'm using bananas to press the keys (by bananas, I mean my fingers...because the keys are so small, and my fingers feel like giant fingers...naturally). The keyboard is also doing that funky act (not to be confused with the "funky chicken") when you start to type a word and the curser (the mouse if you will) starts to type in the middle of a different word. This causes a typing conundrum, with the banana fingers, and the ghost type...I just can't hang. So for the time being I will just "hang loose" (as they say here in Hawaii) and update you on our adventures Post Hawaii.