Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
This morning on NPR there was some show, with a reporter discussing something with a writer. As you can tell by the details (by "by the details" I mean no details at all) I was not really interested. Although I do find Rush Limbaugh to be a ranting dummy, three things were noted this morning about The Baugh (I will call him the Baugh because 1. it's funny and 2. it's stupid, don't you think?) And so the writer continued to blabber on about his findings on The Baugh:
1. The Baugh is almost completely deaf.
2. The Baugh has a cochlear implant.
3. The Baugh has a Bombastic personality.
Just noting, not impressed or anything. Oh and the last time I checked, Shaggy (singer from the 91's not the cartoon dog) was the only bombastic guy I knew...or was he boom-bastic? Hmm you say bombastic I say boombastic, let's call the whole thing off.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Buckets of Rain- Bob Dylan
Ten commandments- Prince Buster
Some Kind of Nature- Gorillaz ft Lou Reed
A Sign of Weakness- Dragging an Ox through Water
Please Please Please let me get what I Want- The Smiths
Do your homework: track down the songs, listen to them, report back....GO!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Ah the old prank call, so classic yet so classless. It was in sixth grade when my friend Michelle and I randomly discovered the number of Jeremy's pager. Jeremy was the fated patron of a random number we decided to call one day. His message, upbeat, concise, and unprepared for what was to come: This is Jeremy's pager, please a message and I will get back to you. For those of you who are not of the pager era, a pager merely acts as a means to access a person. Although it's through voice mail, or typing your telephone number into the phone, no over the phone person to person interaction takes place (until the pager owner the person paged, responds). The first message we left for Jeremy was me pretending to be the voice of Splinter, you know, the wise rat from the ninja turtles? So anyways, as I'm telling the story of how teenage mutant ninja turtles came to be, Michelle was in the background pretending to be the turtles. I will now tell you about the fated prank that started a revolution (for those of you who do not know the ninja turtles story, pay close attention, this could be very informative). Now I want you to read the following in your best wise rat and surfer turtles voices. Jeremy's pager beeps "beep," and go:
Me:(in wise rat voice) I was walking through the sewer one day when I saw four baby turtles swimming in a canister of ooze. I picked them up, put them in my backpack, the next day they had doubled in size, so had myself.
Michelle: (in surfer turtle dude voice) Splinter, will you get off the phone, the is pizza here. Oh great anchovies, I hate anchovies. Cowabunga dude.
Me: (in wise rat voice) Leonardo, can't you see I'm on the phone?
And cut! Now I know it doesn't seem like much, or even that good, but let me tell you, we continued to call the person-less number for the rest of sixth grade... and seventh. It is a fact that me and Michelle pranked called Jeremy's pager till about tenth grade. I know what you're thinking, who the hell did we think we were? Or maybe even what a bunch of dorks. Well we thought we were funny, and clever, and yes obviously we were pretty dorky if that is what we were doing in our free time. But you know what, even after the ninja turtles, George Bush, Harry Carry.... you name it. Even after all of that, Jeremy never ever changed his number.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Today I was in a store and a woman started to whistle next to me. Next thing I know, a different woman started to whistle sort of the same tune, with a few added "hmm da dums" and "la dee das." I didn't recognize the tune. It was strange, yet compelling. I mean seriously, how often do two strangers whistle duet?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
I recently received a note from a man named Timothy, stating "he is sorry I am disappointed in his career." Not only did I feel like a shit head saying the Ladies Man movies were indeed a career killer, I would like retract that statement and say sorry (insert virtual handshake now) shake. Tim Meadows, I do indeed think you are a fantastic comedian your Russell and Tate attorneys at Law skit, really took the cake (and I'm not even talking about a tiny cake...) Tim Meadows, I say career killer about many movies, and yes I know it's a bad habit, and "what would I know..." A funny habit (admit it) but a bad one. Sorry. Keep up the good work. Next time your in Portland, when I bump into you, I'll say "career killer" and you'll be like "oh Emily..." Or maybe you'll pour a drink on my head. Wha wha wha ("wha wha wha" represents cartoon trumpet noise when something funny and bad happens, like an ice cream cone to the head, or something like that).
Emily P.F Dart-McLean
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
And the guy in the car next to me, he was driving a 1979 Volvo station wagon, yellow. This is the exact car model that my best friend in high school used to drive... sans the duel EAT SHIT AND DIE bumper stickers on both backseat passenger windows. The drivers unkempt, long hair, showed just enough face to justify the bumper stickers. He wore a jean cut off vest, (light not dark denim). His snarl lasted for miles, just like the sound his motor made; loud and unpleasant. At the last moment I had a chance to peek in my review mirror at the older woman (say age 78) shaking her head in dismay behind me. I think she always wanted a jean vest, and longed for not one but two bumper stickers that read EAT SHIT AND DIE.