Splinter Calling

Ah the old prank call, so classic yet so classless. It was in sixth grade when my friend Michelle and I randomly discovered the number of Jeremy's pager. Jeremy was the fated patron of a random number we decided to call one day. His message, upbeat, concise, and unprepared for what was to come: This is Jeremy's pager, please a message and I will get back to you. For those of you who are not of the pager era, a pager merely acts as a means to access a person. Although it's through voice mail, or typing your telephone number into the phone, no over the phone person to person interaction takes place (until the pager owner the person paged, responds). The first message we left for Jeremy was me pretending to be the voice of Splinter, you know, the wise rat from the ninja turtles? So anyways, as I'm telling the story of how teenage mutant ninja turtles came to be, Michelle was in the background pretending to be the turtles. I will now tell you about the fated prank that started a revolution (for those of you who do not know the ninja turtles story, pay close attention, this could be very informative). Now I want you to read the following in your best wise rat and surfer turtles voices. Jeremy's pager beeps "beep," and go:

Me:(in wise rat voice) I was walking through the sewer one day when I saw four baby turtles swimming in a canister of ooze. I picked them up, put them in my backpack, the next day they had doubled in size, so had myself.

Michelle: (in surfer turtle dude voice) Splinter, will you get off the phone, the is pizza here. Oh great anchovies, I hate anchovies. Cowabunga dude.

Me: (in wise rat voice) Leonardo, can't you see I'm on the phone?

And cut! Now I know it doesn't seem like much, or even that good, but let me tell you, we continued to call the person-less number for the rest of sixth grade... and seventh. It is a fact that me and Michelle pranked called Jeremy's pager till about tenth grade. I know what you're thinking, who the hell did we think we were? Or maybe even what a bunch of dorks. Well we thought we were funny, and clever, and yes obviously we were pretty dorky if that is what we were doing in our free time. But you know what, even after the ninja turtles, George Bush, Harry Carry.... you name it. Even after all of that, Jeremy never ever changed his number.